The Not So Pretty Side to Self Care

Creating boundaries, getting rid of toxic people.. This is the necessary side to Self Care.

People are constantly talking about self care these days, myself included! I think it’s an extremely important part of life and I believe that other people are starting to realise that as well. But here’s the thing, there’s a side to self care that isn’t exciting. It’s not going for a facial or getting a massage, it’s doing the necessary work to make sure that you’re doing the best you can, for YOU.

1. Creating boundaries.

As someone with anxiety, I’m constantly worried about what other people think of me. I want everyone to like me! But the thing is, not everybody is going to like you. It’s impossible. We, as humans, are all so different and unique in our own ways and we are drawn to different people. However, sometimes the problem is the people who you are drawn to.. I like to call them the ‘drainers’. These are people who are constantly complaining. They ask for money from you, but aren’t willing to do any work to earn their own money. They ask for constant emotional support. They DRAIN you. And for someone like me, who wants everyone to be happy, it’s hard to say no. But it’s necessary in order to be able to look after yourself properly.

2. Getting rid of toxic people.

I used to have a friend who would constantly try to one up me. It was like she needed to be better than me CONSTANTLY. It was so exhausting because I ended up just watching what I would say around her, and I knew that if I said the wrong thing (even talking about any of my successes) it would just be the end of the world to her and she would make it into a huge pity party. I ended up cutting her out of my life, and whilst at first it was extremely hard and I felt guilty for doing it, it was necessary for me to be able to gain some of my happiness back.

3. Doing chores in the middle of a depressive episode.

This one gets me all the time. When you’re in the middle of a depressive episode, it’s really hard to do small things such as washing the dishes, doing your laundry, mopping the floors.. these tasks can take so much energy from us when we don’t have any energy at all. As hard as they are in the moment, they’re necessary to help you feel better. Even if it’s just for five minutes, you’ll feel like you accomplished something and you’ll have one less thing to worry about.

Self care isn’t always bubble baths and treating yourself. It’s doing the work that’s necessary for YOU to take care of YOURSELF.

Until next time,

Jade xo



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